Perry Mason, where are you?

Max has been really pushing the limits in the last week, protesting going to school in the morning, getting dressed, doing things he's asked to, answering direct questions, and shouting and threatening and shouting 4-year-old obscenities at us. Not out of the spectrum for his age and personality, but vexing.

Today, it was the first warm day of spring. Aartie was sick and so Eliza and I went to a playground this morning, and after a very healthy 2 hour nap, I woke her up to get Max and we all headed for the playgound. I ran into Betsy in the hall and she and Ruby said they'd come with us; when we arrived Jason, Zelie and Kestrel were there too. All good, right?

About five minutes into play, someone is screaming. I was scared it was Eliza and so I ran over. It was Zelie, and Max and some other boys were running away from where she was on the arched ladder leading to the equipment. I asked Max what happened and he told me he wasn't involved, though I could hear through Zelie's tears that "Max did it."

After Jason calmed her down, they reported that Zelie was hanging from the ladder and Max peeled her fingers off the ladder. I asked Max again if he wanted to tell me the story, and he again told me he wasn't there, he didn't do it, and that he only knew something was wrong when he heard Zelie crying.

I kind of had to assume that he was lying. But he never admitted it. We left the playground––I told him we would stay if he told me the truth and he held strong.

So, is this time to crack down, and punish him for 1) lying, adn 2) doing something really bad? Or do I let it go, rather than risk punishing him for something he didn't do?