marathon

This Sunday, Rick ran the marathon. In typical Bell-Kahn family fashion, Max was excited, but a little too tired for it -- he was sick the night before. I was so harried I didn't do half of the things I wanted to, including take pictures. Eliza kind of went along for the ride, smiling and laughing and not napping. And Rick strategic consistency allowed him to pull off what really felt kind of impossible. I don't know if it's a strategy, or what, but he seems to have a very strongly-communicated policy statement about our marriage, family, and his place in it. I think it is this: Rick will uncomplainingly be a stellar dad and doting husband, doing things like washing dishes on the night he ran the marathon, etc, as long as he has room for: a really intense athletic commitment that obliterates a few months of weekends every year, time to himself to "read the paper" most mornings, no talking before coffee on weekends, and the opportunity to watch 40% of all Mets and Knicks games, 90% of Jets games, 100% of important playoff type games, golf tournaments with Tiger Woods in them, assorted tennis matches, and be able to go to U2 concerts and hang out with his friends.

I was very, very proud of Rick for running the marathon, and for being so incredibly judicious and conscientious about working it into our lives - he tried so hard to make it as un-onerous for me as possible. I wonder if there is ever a chance I can apply some of that strategic long-term thinking to my own life? Probably not? I seem to operate in fits and starts, and go, go, go until I collapse.